


I will always love you

by Zouis95



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Bullying, Cutting, M/M, Oral Sex, Sexual Content, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-06
Updated: 2012-12-06
Packaged: 2017-11-20 11:13:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/584776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zouis95/pseuds/Zouis95
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn always treats Harry badly for no apparent reason, and this takes it's toll on Harry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I will always love you

I don’t know when it started, Zayn was perfectly kind when I first met him. I guess everyone is nice when you first meet them. There were some clues while we were on The X Factor, a rude comment about my appearance, or a sarcastic remark about my voice. When we began touring with The X Factor, the pressure seemed to make it worse, Zayn would say rude things about me to the boys, start rumors and sometimes he’d even trip me over, pretending it was an accident. 

It really hit the fan after the Red or Black show. Zayn was very angry about my solo and he said that I let down the band and all the fans. He told me that I shouldn’t even be in the band and that I’m the least talented. It was after that night when I began to cut myself, knowing that the guy I’ve crushed on since I first met him, thinks those things about me. 

After that night, Zayn wouldn’t even pretend to like me, blatantly ignoring me and calling me rude names. Everyone noticed and no one knew why Zayn hated me so much. 

Things went like this for a while, Zayn would be mean and I would cut. No one knew about my stress release, I always managed to keep it covered. 

When we began the Up All Night tour, things took a turn for the worse. Zayn would start to bring girls back to the hotel, fucking them loudly, and then coming to my room and telling me that I could never find a girl, that I was to ugly. 

People seem to think I always sleep with heaps of girls, I don’t know where that rumour started, I guess it was my close relationship with Caroline. 

Zayn would tell me that girls don’t find me attractive and that I’m destined to be alone forever. After he would leave I would always take my razor out and add to the collection on my inner thigh. 

Life was becoming to much, with the pressure from the media and the hate I got from the boy I loved-yes it has been upgraded from a crush to love- I don’t know how I can keep going, it seems to be a lost cause. 

“The girl I just fucked was so fit, Australians are so hot!” Zayn was now telling me about his recent partner. We were touring in Australia and the change in scenery didn’t stop the abuse one bit. “Are you going to finally fuck a chick, an Aussie chick could really help you out. That’s if you could find one, it would be a little hard with your face, I mean jeez man we make enough money for you to afford proactive.” Tonight’s abuse was nothing out of the ordinary, nothing a good cut can’t fix. 

“Yeah sure” I replied, trying not to egg him on. I love him too much to reply with anything hurtful or mean, I just sit here and take it. “So I’m off fuckhead, don’t bring back any chicks” Zayn giggled at his sarcastic remark, leaving me alone and hurting. 

It didn’t take me long to take my jeans off and pull out my razor from the bottom of my suitcase. I sat down on my bed and crossed my legs underneath me. I lined the razor along my inner thigh, loving the power it gave me. After three good cuts I was feeling better, my breathing was quick and my heart was beating fast, but the pain of loving someone who absolutely hated me was slowly fading.

I had just closed my eyes in contentment when my hotel door opened. Harry always locks the door, and that is a rookie mistake. 

“I left my phone, have you seen- what the hell are you doing?!” please someone else, anyone else. Zayn will only tease me more for being a unstable freak that will tear the band down with mental issues. I was completely shocked to feel the razor being torn out of my hand and soft kisses at my head of curls. 

“C’mon buddy let’s get you fixed up” who is this person? Zayn went into the bathroom and came back with some ointment and a bandage, he laid me down on the bed and began to fix me up. 

When my thigh was bandaged, Zayn placed a kiss on the sore area and pulled me up to look him in the eye. “Why have you done this to yourself?” Zayn’s voice was sweet and caring, the complete opposite of his normal tone. 

“I dunno, I just do” My voice was shaky and a few tears had escaped my eyes. Zayn reached up and very sweetly brushed my tears away, pulling me into a hug. “You have to stop okay, you cannot keep doing this to yourself” Zayn’s voice was sweet but strict. 

“How dare you?” my voice was quiet, I hardly even knew what slipped through my lips. “Pardon me?” Zayn replied questioningly.

“How dare you tell me what to do when you are the cause of it all!” I spat, my voice loud and angry. I pushed Zayn off me and got up to walk out the door. My hand was on the door handle when I was yanked back into Zayn’s embrace.

“This was my fault? How was this my fault” Zayn’s voice was scared, like I was about to say something he never wanted to hear. 

“Of course it is! Nah the mean things you say don’t affect me at all!” sarcasm leaked through my tone. 

Zayn took a sharp breath in and cringed, looking at me with soft eyes. “I’m sorry” this was probably the sweetest voice I’ve ever heard. “I know I’ve been an ass, I didn’t think it pushed you here” Zayn motioned towards my cuts. 

“How would you feel if the person you loved called you horrible names, it isn’t very pleasant” did that just come out if my mouth? Did I really just say that? Shit. 

“T-The person you love, the person you love?” Zayn repeated, like he was trying to process it.

“I’m sorry that just slipped out” I quickly replied. “No!” Zayn silenced me “You love me?”

I nodded very slowly, Studying Zayn’s face for any emotion. “You love me.” this was more to himself, like he was coming to terms with it. 

“I have since X Factor” I don’t know why I felt the need to say this, I just need him to know how long he has hurt me. 

“I can’t believe this” Zayn began, “don’t worry about-” I was cut off by Zayn’s finger to my lips. “I cannot believe this, I have treated you like absolute shit all this time because of the hidden feelings I have for you, and all this time you’ve loved me too” Zayn laughed lightly. 

“Too? Too?!” my mind went into overdrive, since when did Zayn feel this way about me, what, when? 

Zayn silenced my inner monologue with a very timid peck on the lips, pulling away too soon. My lips felt like they were on fire, my head was spinning and my heart was beating like crazy. Before I knew it my brain was getting fuzzy and my knees were giving out, I felt warm arms around me as I slipped into unconsciousness. 

When I woke up I was laying down on the bed, listening to Zayn humming Same Mistakes while he laid next to me. I began to slowly stir and he stopped humming and looked at me, the smile on his face was cute enough to make me faint again.

“You’re awake” Zayn exhaled, obviously ecstatic. “I am” I replied equally as happy with tonight’s turn of events. 

“I only did what I did because I loved you, I know that this won’t make up for anything but I’m so sorry, it hurt me everyday to be mean to you but I had to, it was a lot harder to deny my feelings hen you were being nice to me. I had to make you hate me” Zayn took a big breath, he looked like a huge weight was off his shoulders.

“I forgive you, I don’t know why I do. You have made me feel so bad about myself and you have caused me to harm myself, but I love you too much to ever not forgive you. I never really blamed you anyway, I felt like it was my fault” I replied nervously, talking about my love towards Zayn, to Zayn was something I never imagined I’d ever do, this was a dream come true.

“It was never you’re fault, ever. Please believe me that you are perfect, in every single way. I have never met someone better than you. You are beautiful, funny, caring and you have a voice that makes me want to cry. Everything that I said to you was a lie, a cover up. When I called you ugly I was only trying to convince myself you weren’t beautiful, when I called you a bad singer, I was tying to tell myself that it your voice wasn’t divine. Everything, everything I have ever called you was the complete opposite of what I really wanted to tell you, I was just too afraid. I would’ve never had the guts to admit that I loved you and it pained me to be close to you, that’s why I felt the need to push you away. You don’t know how long I’ve waited to tell you I love you, now I’ve said it, I want to tell you every single day. I love you Harry Styles, I love every little thing about you, and it’s as simple as that.” 

If someone had told me this morning that Zayn Malik would be making me cry happy tears, I would’ve scoffed in their face. But here I am, tears flowing down my cheek an I’ve never felt happier. 

“I love you Zayn, I really do” I sobbed, Zayn leaned in close and wiped the years from each cheek, kissing me on the forehead. I closed my eyes and just savored this moment, in the arms of the one I love, life couldn’t be better.

When I felt Zayn’s sweet lips on mine, I really thought I was in a dream, this couldn’t be real. My lips began to move with Zayn, in a way that couldn’t be described than anything less than perfection. Zayn’s lips were warm and smooth, everything I thought they would be. 

I felt Zayn’s tongue swipe across my bottom lip, I opened my mouth to let him in, loving the way he entered slowly. Our tongues worked together in symmetry, like we were meant to be together.

Zayn was now laying on top of me, his lips on mine. This was a dream, it had to be. A whine came from my mouth when the warmth from Zayn’s was now on my neck. He lifted my top up and I let him remove it and throw it on the floor, he then took his top off and it joined mine on the floor. This isn’t happening. Something deep in my stomach growled and my eyes filled with lust at the sight of Zayn topless, his body was impeccable. Beautiful abs with a amazing tan, his tattoos contrasted amazingly. 

Zayn straddled my hips and he started putting soft sweet kisses to my chest, making me feel loved. He moved to my nipples, treating them with care and love. I could feel Zayn’s apology with every sweet kiss and loving twirl of his tongue. He made it down to my bellybutton, kissing it gently. I was already without pants as I had taken them off to cut, something that led to this amazing activity. Zayn breathed onto my bulge, causing me to moan. Zayn removed my underwear very delicately, trying not to hurt my bandaged thighs. 

Zayn placed his hands gently on my thighs, spreading them for easier access. He lent down to press a sweet kiss to my bandaged scars, making me love him even more. Zayn then placed a delicate kiss on the top of my penis, taking the head into his mouth and sucking gently. He twirled his tongue around my head while his hands jerked what wasn’t in his mouth. He moved down until I was at the back of his throat, he swallowed with ease, making a groan pass through my lips. 

Zayn then removed his mouth with a kiss to the tip again. “I don’t suppose you have any lube, maybe a condom” Zayn whispered cheekily. I nodded and motioned my head towards the bedside table. He got the message and moved to receive the supplies.

I used this free time to compose myself, taking a big breath and running a hand across my face. I still couldn’t believe this was happening. 

Zayn returned totally naked, I couldn’t believe my eyes at the sight, and it was everything I thought it would look like and more. He giggled at my wide eyes. “Impressed?” he giggled,  “Very” I replied.

Zayn moved me so my legs were around his waist, I felt a lubed up finger placed delicately at my hole, teasing the area.

“Take it slow yeah?” I breathed nervously. “Of course” Zayn replied. 

Zayn very slowly pressed his finger into me, until it was al the way in. He waited until I gave him the okay to move, with a nod of my head he began to move it in and out. After a few minutes I felt another finger pressing into me, the pain was intense but enjoyable. Once both fingered were all the way in, Zayn slowly pulled out only to slam back in, making my eyes go wide with pleasure.

“Sorry! Are you okay?” Zayn asked frantically, begging to pull out. “Do that again, now!” I replied feverishly. Zayn chuckled and pushed back into me, spreading his fingers to stretch me out. 

When he pulled his fingers out I whine out the empty feeling it left, I heard the crinkle of a wrapper and I knew a better feeling was coming.

The feeling of Zayn pressing into me was something I will always remember, it was incredible. A beautiful mixture of love and lust, coming together to create something amazing. Zayn moved very slowly, trying not to hurt me. When he was all the way in he gave me a few minutes to catch my breath and get used to the intrusion. 

Once I nodded my head, Zayn very slowly pulled out until just the head remained, he then pushed back in leaving a intense feeling of pleasure throughout my whole body. He repeated this a few times before I was writhing on the bed, begging for more. 

Zayn quickened the pace, moving with such precision. I wrapped my legs around his hips, pulling him in further. Zayn snapped his hips and hit my sweet spot, making me moan his name. 

I pulled Zayn down so I could smash our lips together, he grunted and continued to pound into me while exploring my mouth with his tongue. 

“F-fuck Zayn” I knew I was close, Zayn must have been to because he quickened the pace, slamming into my prostate every time. With one last thrust, I was coming between our sweaty bodies. Zayn was only a few thrusts behind me, coming into the condom with a moan of my name. 

When he pulled out I whined, missing him inside me already. He tied a know in the condom and threw it on the floor. He fell beside me and pulled me into his side, making me the small spoon. My body adored the warmth Zayn was letting out. I turned around so I could face him, loving the look of peace on his face. 

“You’re never going to cut again, I love you, so never again” he said almost to quietly to hear. I nodded, a few tears springing to my eyes. “I won’t, I have no reason to now, and I love you too.”

“Good, I am so sorry for everything I did to you, I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you” I loved the sound of that. 

“Loving me is enough, it will always be enough. Promise you’ll always love me?” I asked nervously. 

“Trust me Harry, I will always love you” with that I sighed and closed my eyes, putting my face in the crook of Zayn’s neck. 

“I love you too”


End file.
